I sit still here pondering the last 7 months of my life, I am waiting impatiently for my 14 hour flight to Johannesburg, South Africa, all while I sit here drinking a $4 coffee (thanks supporters). I can now fully reflect upon the man I was when I left home all those months ago, stubborn, a head full of rocks, trying to figure it all out on my own. However, today I stand on the other side of it, completely mended with a new heart from God. I stand as a new creation. In the New Testament we are called new creations, after we die to our flesh and are resurrected with Christ. The Greek word for “new” in all these passages is the word “kainos”, simply put the definition of this word is “a thing which has never existed before.” This means God doesn’t just “rework” or “change” us, this means He brings new life from us. Isn’t that amazing! 

The past 2 and a half months I’ve lived in Guatemala I’ve been challenged spiritually like never before. I’ve been called to not just believe in the Holy Spirit, but to operate in it. I’ve been challenged by the Lord to let go of what I think my gifts are so He can bring new ones out of me. I’ve been commanded to walk in deeper spiritual maturity, and authority. More than just means to fulfill roles in ministry, this is how I’m commanded to operate with my every breath. 

However, before I could do any of this I asked myself a tough question “Why am I doing this?” I began to internalize within myself “Bruh  I’m a missionary I know why I’m doing this.” Which seems like a good enough answer. Right here is where I would insert something about seeing God’s kingdom on earth. (Which we should all desire) Although there is some truth in my answer I must point out, there is a serious problem with the answer I gave to the question I started asking myself several months ago. The words “Im a missionary.” The thought of “I am this so I do this.” After taking time to reflect I could now understand how twisted my thinking was. I’m not defined by what I do, my worth is found in what Jesus did for me on the cross at Calvary. In the Kingdom of Heaven I do not have the title of “missionary,” my title is “Child of God.” Simply put I was in a place of finding worth in what I was doing, rather than finding my worth in Christ. I was overlooking God’s love for me, and if God’s love for us is not the defining characteristic of who we are we’re missing the point. 

One night a friend of mine walked up to me and says “Something I see you doing is you are being quicker to share with people how much God loves them, than you are to believe God’s love for you.” My first thought was “Of course I believe God loves me.” But to what extent did I believe it. After time spent thinking I came to the realization that I believed God loves me, in a similar way I believe the sky is blue.

1. I see it shape the world around me.
2. When I look upon it I acknowledge it.

Truthfully God’s love is supposed to shape us, it changes the way we see Him, it changes the way we see ourselves, the way we see our friends, the way we see our family, the way we see our “enemies” (I’ll get into that one some other time). God’s love is the essence of it all. We see it in Creation, and on the Cross. I simply need to dwell on God’s love for me. You should dwell on it too. God knows you by name, He formed you in your mother’s womb, He sent His son Jesus to die for your sins, He is offering you eternal life. Romans 6:23 says “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Believe His love for you today, let it change your life. Let it change your eternity.